Avoid This Job

Working For Peanuts

Working in any capacity for the uber-rich is a tough gig, and that goes double for being a personal assistant (AKA Scapegoat/Slave/Den Mother/Shrink). Expectations are high, with little room for error. 

To be a great personal assistant, you've got to have thick skin; emotionally bullet-proof is ideal. Do people often say you appear to be robotic, almost dead inside? Perfect! Put that whole 'inability to feel' thing to work FOR you for once, Ol' Dead Eyes! Light typing, filing, organizing... and getting screamed at. For money! Because even in a recession, the truly wealthy still have cash to throw around, so at least you'll be paid well. Er... right?

Oh. Wrong.

Knight In Shining Armor

Many thanks to AvoidThisJob reader Aubriane for submitting this creepy find!

 

Well, hello Prince Charming! What a chivalrous hero! Helping ladies who "need rescued" is a dying art, so it's good to know there are still some gentlemen out there, looking out for those who are "down on their luck." Sure, like all charitable people/institutions, you have a age/weight restriction, but so what? It's like that plaque on the Statue of Liberty says: "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free... (P.S. NO FATTIES)" 

If Your Child Makes It To 18, It Will Be A Miracle

Times are tough everywhere, and many of us are cutting back on the little luxuries. Things like going to the movies, eating out, cable TV, ensuring the health and safety of our offspring, etc. Oh. Wait. 

You are looking for someone to care for your infant more than full-time. Let's review the terms. 

45 hrs/week
$350/month
Average 4.2 weeks/month 

That works out to $1.85/hr. That is surprising! And insane.

Cake Boss

Hmm. Well, this certainly sounds like a wonderful business opportunity for a talented chef! 

So here's what I (your hypothetical ideal candidate) bring to the table:

• 2-4 years of a culinary school education and/or a college degree
• A "creative mind"
• Professional baking skills
• Professional cake decorating skills

What you (the anonymous collective "we" with no cited culinary experience or background) bring to the table:

• A nameless location
• Random "baking supplies"

Reading The Warning Signs: Capitalization

FACT: Capitalization is for locations, God & proper nouns, among other things.

FACT: Those 'other things' do not include local musicians looking for cheap labor on craigslist.